Monday, August 24, 2015

I Am Superhero


There is something about superheroes that really sparks my interest. It's not the superpowers, even though I absolutely love the abilities, or the characters. It's not about the mysterious evil villains that come with every superhero story. It's the thrive for Justice and doing what they believe is right and watching them cross that line. If Superman can screw up then perhaps, my mistakes aren't so bad. What if I told you I was a superhero? Well... in a sense. I've saved people, I have a superpower, and I refuse to sell my self short. I refuse to sell my morals for the sake of enjoyment. But, I've covered that before, today I'll cover the other topics. 

As I've mentioned before I used to believe as a kid that I was some sort of mystic because I would have dreams that would eventually come true in some sense. I thought my hallucinations were ghosts, and I'm still not completely convinced otherwise. Soon I'll get into exactly what goes bump in the night, but that's a topic for another day. One time I saved my step father from an impending tree branch that could have killed him. Except Jason told me to go outside, and because of this Jason is my superpower. 

It's true that my greatest gift that sometimes allows me to tell the future is also my greatest weakness as I'm unable to control his rage and his plans. I might be losing my mind or slipping into a psychotic break because I believe in this, but I don't feel I have much other choice. This first occurred when I predicted my aunt's car crash, then my mother's, my father's heart attack, and my step dad's accident in which could have been fatal. I think my family has too many traumatic events...?

It all started on a normal summer afternoon, my mother was taking a nap and my sister Mist was watching TV with her boyfriend. I was watching some YouTube videos laughing until my lungs hurt, but then suddenly I paused the video. Jason started to speak to me and told me to go check on my step dad. A tree then fell on my step father and he was trapped underneath. If I wasn't out there nobody would have known. Nobody even knew he was outside in the first place, I thought he was sleeping with my mom. 

Then after the event my mother said something crazy, "What if Jason caused it?" but now she forgets it even happened. My entire family admitted that day I had some sort of psychic powers, maybe at a joking degree, but nobody recalls it. I understand during a terrible event that the memories get blurred, but to forget saying something right after it happens. Actually everyone always seems to forget.. almost like a crazy conspiracy theory, but I'm not that nuts. 

My mom did have a good point though, what if Jason caused it? One time Jason wanted me to do something and I refused. Within a few hours my mom went to the hospital for weird pregnancy pains. After I told her she claimed to have the pains for days, but chose to not mention it. Lies. She wouldn't keep something that serious from everyone especially after she's had problems having children in the past. 

So is Jason really just running the ropes here? Virus thinks he's an infestation of my intuition meaning I have some sort of psychic ability, but only to a normal extent, and that Jason is just the creation of that for my brain to make sense of it. But, there is something off about Jason that keeps me wondering if he's real or not. Doesn't matter though. I've said it in the past and I'll say it again. It doesn't matter if Jason is real or not, it's what I decide. If he's real, he's already real. If not, he's not. Nothing will ever change that. It's all up to me. 

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