Past

So I don't really like Christmas. I get all nervous about giving or receiving gifts, so I tend to avoid it. I always end up sick right around Christmas. As a kid, I would get worried that I would not like a new toy, or that it would take over and I wouldn't play with my current toys. It was nerve racking even to a ten year old. Plus, I'm religious in the slightest. So... Christmas isn't my thing. I want to like Christmas again like I did when I was younger though so I'm allowing myself to be visited by the ghost of Christmas Past.

I imagine this person as my grandfather who recently passed away. They would appear before me when the blanket they would fly off my bed and twist into their face. He would smile at me and take my hand as he flies out the window next to my bed, taking me with him, and we travel back in time to take a look at years of Christmas past. He explains that we need to see how the world was to me so I can take a second look at why Christmas is dreadful to me.

We would appear my early childhood. There I was getting out of bed to open my presents. I looked excited, but something was wrong. The next thing I know younger me is throwing up and is taken to the hospital. I realize that this is my earliest memory and it's surly not a good one. I feel like I ruined Christmas at that moment as my mom has to cancel all her plans to take me to the doctor where I have to stay overnight.

The ghost of Christmas Past then takes me to the next scene. I can see we're at his house and I'm crying. My parents had broken up and now I was upset to just be away from my mom. I watched as I tried to play by myself, but everyone followed me and made jokes or even beat on me. I watched as most of the adults then went to play cards without me. How people would pick on me and I couldn't do anything to fight back.

Time passes and I see the room change to my other grandparents car, my mom's mom, and I remember where we are. I remember how a Christmas song came on and my grandmother burst into tears. She had to pull over because she was crying so hard. She was so distraught because she then told me she was upset because my mom wouldn't be home for the holidays as she was currently in jail. My mom ended up coming home early and was able to make it to the holiday, but at that time all Christmas did was made me feel bad.

After that point most of my Christmas were good. It was just my mom, my step dad, and my step siblings Mist and her brother. The twins were still far, far away and wasn't able to make it in. During that time we didn't have a lot of time to get a lot of gifts, but we still got a decent amount. Christmas was good.... up until the moment where everyone would go off and do their own thing. We didn't see each other until dinner time then everyone took a nap and I was alone until they woke up. Year after year. Last year was good and we spent time together, but by that point the joy of Christmas was already tainted.

I'm then back in my room, sitting back on my bed as I looked to the blanket in my hands. I knew at that moment that my journey wasn't over. I could hear a second more of my grandfather as he explained that I would be visited by two more spirits - the ghost of the future and the ghost of the present. I sat nervously waiting for that to happen. It was only a matter of time before they would arrive and I had no idea who they would be.