Reset

Haven't we done this before? No seriously, I'm sure these plots are trapped in a forever loop doomed to be redone. Every big event in my life has happened twice, but with different outcomes. Like, some sick version of Déjà vu except it isn't just the feeling this has happened before. It really has happened before. They say that history repeats itself, that's why we study it, and maybe the education for once was right.

I have ended up at the same school twice where I will graduate. With five schools in between that seems like an unlikely odd I'd end up where the story started. With a mixture of new and old friends or enemies at my side I can't help, but wonder if the same events are happening again. It was then that I came to the conclusion that Gem has put me through this before.

Another example is my mother being taken away from me twice, for the same crime. After she stole money from the place she was working at she was put away for five months, but a few years later she was sentenced for nine more, but spent five months in an actual prison. Is is just me or are coincidences really annoying?

But, what if things aren't just doing over, but resetting completely? Jason, the voice in my head, has always said that things would end where they started. As of a few weeks ago my cousins have revamped their first house somehow moving back to it, because the bank messed up and never took it out of their name. Now they own it. It's odd, how things work out, isn't it?

Everything is slowly falling back into place that is a mirror of the day I started telling my story. No, not starting this blog. But, when Jason appeared. When I first started to hear him he did say everything would end where it would begin. Except things aren't ever going to be the same especially after this past year. As Jason has put it, me meeting Virus and my baby brother have drastically changed the story.

The way he puts it we've done this fourteen times over, but we always mess it up and never separate from each other. Except in this timeline I wasn't meant to meet Virus, apparently she changes everything and if you think about it she did. If it wasn't for her writing would have just been a phase, but now it's a career choice. Or if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be on my way to see her or actually consider New York.

The thing with this is from the start Jason said the girl with black hair would be mine, and her, undoing. The girl with black hair doesn't have to be Virus though.. it could be Gem, my cousin, or my mother for all I know. All three of them are driving me nuts and play a huge part in my story that pushes me more towards the darkness. It's because of my cousin that I got myself very sickly drunk, my mother going to prison showing me the corruption in the world, and my own family, as well as likily passing the family mental illness onward, and Gem for making me seem like the bad guy. I guess I just could really use that reset, so I hold onto it.