What the F- Ah, Forget It!

So if you haven't noticed the innocent little halo on the tip of my skull then you may not know I have morals which prevent me from doing any wrong. I'm sure I've mentioned my lack of cursing as well, well as it turns out that is beginning to change. Does that mean I'm slowly starting to be corrupted by the world like everybody else or am I allowing a slight change for the sake of my writing? As most of my stories have to do with the underworld or as most people call it hell. Just starting today was I finally able to type the world out, not able to say it yet, but every time I do I end up spelling "hello," instead proving my innocent once more.

But, is cursing bad? Obviously, I wouldn't have a problem with it if I wasn't told as a child that curse words were wrong. Over the years though, the people who have told me so have grown to use curse words more and more. Despite this, I'm still unable to use curse words of any kind... until now. It started with a story I wanted to write that takes place in hell and it was getting annoying to use all the words except "hell,". Which technically isn't cursing because using "hell," as a way of expression is different from describing a place (still bothers me).

Without actually using the norm curse words, am I still cursing? A wise man once told me that letting out any remark is the same as using curse words. Although, I've read that those certain "bad," words have a sort of stress releaser to them. In a way I'm still cursing without actually saying the words, now that I know that I can curse right?

What the F- Ah, Forget It!

No matter what I do I cannot let out a curse word. It's not possible. Not when I stub a toe, am mad at my computer, get drunk, or in some cases are on morphine. When I got my wisdom teeth out I had to be on morphine from the surgery, I couldn't even lift up my head let alone control my body. Still, as my step dad tried to get me to "give him the bird," moving my fingers for me my body fought back and wouldn't let him. I physically cannot curse.

The brings up my goody two shoes attitude, it's almost if I actually am unable to do any wrong. I mean I still joke around, mess with people, and can come off as mean but I never intend to hurt anyone. Ever. Well.. there was this one situation or two but that's for another time. In the end I have to question if I'm able to do something against my morals, and if my morals are always right? Does that make cursing bad?

With being able to type out the word, "hell," finally after sixteen years I can't help but wonder if I am slowly being corrupted. The voice in my head keeps telling me he will slowly take over if I don't somehow release him. If that's true or fake the same applies; I would most certainly have to fight off the darkness inside of me or lose myself completely.