Omac's Log #6

If I had a dollar for every time I've died these few years I'd be able to buy better insurance. Seriously, let's just count a few of them. I've been ripped apart into the void. I've had my heart broken. I ran right into a security fence. Toast Monster hunted and killed! I was hurt. I was beaten. I became a zombie. I was dying. I was crying. Nowhere to run. I was lost. No background music or toast, yeah toast to bust me out. Nothing to eat. Buzz! No sweet shop to save me. Not even toast? No, not even toast. That's so sad... I can't imagine a world without toast. It's not so bad. I mean.. if you don't mind living under a jerk of a ruler. In the end, it was the Dark Writer that killed me. A future version of myself. Now THAT'S deep!

So does that mean we're dead? No, I don't think we are. I can still go back and face the Dark Writer, but... only if I want to. We'll of course you want to go back! They have toast there! I might go back, but I'm not going as Toastman. Wait, what?! So you'd rather be awesome again? Look, you were all fun and amazing parts of myself... I don't think I need you anymore. Let me give you some advice. You can outrun the cheetah, but you can't outsmart the pizza guy. Reverse Mac, that was terrible advice. You'd need super speed to outrun a cheetah! And, what do you have against the pizza guy? Everyone has an arch nemesis. Omac it's your call... We are all versions of you, and we will always be a part of you, but for you to move on you have to let us go. I know... How do you even plan to face the Dark Writer? I'm not sure if I can... The Dark Writer is no different from any of us. He is more than just a possible future for us. He is what we fear of becoming. He is our basement. Then how do I stop him? How do I face the fear of my future? You don't need to stop him... you need to accept him. He is still a part of you. This part that you refuse to let in. You can't let the fear consume you, but you have to accept that you have it.

I don't know... Look, when I used the master pen to rewrite history I was a little freaked too. I didn't know if it would go exactly as planned, but it seemed to go pretty well. Or when I went back in time and accidentally unleashed a demon named Piper. Oh, and Sherlock died, but it was fine. How about when I created a team of breakfast themed superheroes? Sure, Bacon turned on me and the entire team fell apart after only two missions, but it all worked out. Uh... There is the time I opened up a milkshake shop that turned the consumers into zombies. I wonder what ever happened to that serum. If it was allowed to sit over time it could create a whole Apocalypse of zombies. I'd imagine it would start with the Mods... Nah, nothing to worry about! It all worked out. Wait... what?

I think what they're saying is we were never afraid to try. We led the rebellion when Imp took over RPA. We went to the ball with Naraness, and dated Kicks. Didn't they both dump you on the same day? Haha, silly Piper! Hey, have you ever dated somebody? Guys stop! I'm trying to think here. Shush, Toast Monster thinking! How do I know I'm ready to step back out there? How do I know I won't get hurt again? You never know that. You never know if today will be your last. It doesn't really matter, does it? You can't be afraid of the future. You never know what will happen. It could always get better. You missed the PERFECT opportunity to say "it could always get "butter,".

What do I do? One final big musical number?! No... do I go back? Only you can decide that... How do I know I'm ready? How do I know if I'm even me? You were always ready. Life and sickness may have gotten in our way, but all of that was controlled by one thing... stop being afraid. How? How do I just face all my fears? You can't just expect to stop being afraid of everything. You can't ignore your fear. You just have to accept that you're afraid and figure out how to deal with it. Why Omac so scared? I guess I'm just scared of failing... that I'll screw up everything.

Do you really think that's possible? That YOU could be a failure? Look at everything you have done. You graduated high school. You've been member of the month. You wrote an RPA Fanfiction. You've made so many friends! You survived, even when you thought you wouldn't... I did do all those things... You're Omac12! You have gotten through every struggle tossed your way. You squeezed ALL those lemons into lemonade! You were never the hero because you were Toastman. You were the hero because of the hero you are on the inside. You're right... I did a pretty good job... I can't let fear win anymore. I think it's time for me to go home.

The End