My medication is supposed to help me with my hallucinations, and while it has it's done it's fair share I can't help, but feel trapped. Side effects or just a worsening situation? I'm noticing things happening to me that I can't control. Flashes of terrible events happening to me or others that I can't get out of my head. Images that blast through my brain filling me with both awkward reactions and terror. It's made it hard to focus much at all.
Since being on my medication I've also started rocking back and forth. It gets more violent if I'm worried about something like a test or if I'm really excited about something. I also started to pace more in school. Sometimes getting up during class just to pace. So far I haven't been called out by many teachers, but students have become worried and sometimes make fun. On that matter I'm talking to myself a whole lot more to a degree where I likely look crazy. It's like my medication has broken that wall I had and released all my insanity.
That's not all my medication might have done. I have found that any sexual feelings I ever possibly had are slowly disappearing little by little. Before I already felt I was asexual, but now it's even worse. At one point I thought I might have had a crush on a friend of mine, but now I don't have much feelings toward them at all. It's like I'm losing my humanity by getting rid of Jason. Is it worth it?
As for any psychic ability I once felt I had, it's also vanished from sight. I haven't had any dreams or feelings since I been on this medication. Jason always said he was my sixth sense and my hormones and now both of them seem to be slowly fading away. I'm really, really worried of what else will worsen. I thought that this may be the end, but I'm worried how much of me will remain once this story closes out.
